In my post of 11.18.2012, I listed some things I am finding helpful to reconnect to my Lord. I have found that in the 1>>2>>3 punch of my cancer diagnoses, my focus has been more on my health strategies than in seeking the Lord. This has surprised me for I have strong faith. I haven’t, however, felt His comfort and nearness, as I would expect. Confirming this, Dr. Denise recently found that I was holding onto the specific fear that I could not trust my Lord. Together, we cleared that statement and I felt a huge break in my anxiety.
Another thing that I am finding helpful is to practice the Inner Smile. This is a Taoist meditative practice, that I have retooled as a model for contemplative prayer. I believe that the Holy Spirit is at work transforming me into the image of Jesus Christ from the inside out. He has taken up residence in my body. Over the past many years, I have envisioned Him sweeping out the parts of my character that are unpleasing to Him. Now, during this phase of my health journey, I am also envisioning Him sweeping out negative emotions that I am holding in my body, and in fact in specific organs of my body. I then envision Him moving to replace the negative emotions with positive ones. I am reminded that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am reminded of the intricacy of His design; of the miraculous rhythms of my body. How grateful and thankful I am for Christ who lives and breathes through me!!
This is a link to the Taoist version of the Inner Smile: http://www.universal-tao.com/article/smile.html It has served as a meditative guide to my meditation with the Holy Spirit.